Positivity is not the cure.

by | Mar 25, 2019 | Mental Illness | 0 comments

25 Mar 2019

I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class.

I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class.

I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class.

I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class. I must not talk in class.

Admit it you skipped reading that…. but go back and read it through just so you hate me a little bit.

Fuck writing lines in school sucked so bad, I had a few teachers who loved making me write lines. Archaic form of boredom torture That we all hated but surprisingly ended up not remembering and the next day was back writing lines in the lunch break again. Probably because lines didn’t work as a punishment other than making me resent my teachers.

Fast Forward 15 years or so, for some reason everyone is telling me to stand in front of the mirror and tell myself over and over I am happy, I’m successful I’m loved or some other bullshit. Wait a minute I’m doing the adult equivalent of writing lines to make myself happy and positive. What airy fairy cookie loving idiot was it that decided this is how we make ourselves happy in life? NEWS FLASH MATE, telling yourself that you love yourself 10 times in the mirror every morning isn’t going to make you happy! It just makes you that dumb kid who kept having to write out lines in high school all over again.



NEGITIVITY…. Don’t be negative, shun negative thoughts, just be positive…

This people is just a big box of horse shit wrapped in pretty wrapping paper. We need negative experiences in life to be able to appreciate positive ones. You know what scrap those two words completely. We just need to have experiences both good and bad. That’s life

So how do I be happy? Well first of all its not by telling your self that you are. When you stop and think about it that’s a bloody stupid thing to think isn’t it? I used to think it, I used to be one of these “positivity” people. Or I tried to be, it never actually worked. Because it was never actually fixing the cause of the problem. Our lives are full of problems, they never go away they simply change, upgrade or even downgrade in severity. That’s depressing…. But have you ever solved a riddle or had an issue that you figured out and made it work? You felt good right? Made you happy within yourself you achieved that little goal.

So here is my point, the key to being happy isn’t telling yourself you are. It’s about solving the problems life is throwing at you and each time you solve a problem you give yourself a little happiness boost the more we solve the happier we get. This isn’t always easy and sometimes we need professional help but we can start small, for instance if your depressed and stuck in bed set yourself a tiny goal of getting up and having a shower and getting dressed, you can get straight back into bed after it doesn’t matter because you set a goal and solved that small problem of you smelt bad….and now you smell fresh and feel good you accomplished that one thing you set out to do. But if we avoid these problems they stay current, they make us miserable and control our lives and no amount of positivity is going to fix that shit. Positivity is toxic, it gives us a false reading on our internal happiness scale. Its like parking your car nose down on a hill and thinking you have a full tank of fuel then driving of for the day with your almost empty tank. Toxic Positivity has this same effect on our emotions it masks them, its forces us to ignore them and that’s just a fucking stupid idea.

Our emotions are our bodies way of telling us something is wrong, kind of our internal warning lights that say hey your sad better check what’s making you sad and fix it or hey your mad find out what’s pissed you off and remove it from your life.

Its time to stop listening to people saying just be positive and your life will be positive because it just won’t be, you just mask the problems and they fester under the surface and make you more miserable until you implode into an emotional or sometimes even a violent wreck.

Find the issue and fix it, its such a simple concept when out car gives us a warning light we take it to the mechanic and say “hey, my cars warning me something is wrong can you find out what it is and fix it for me please?” you get a warning you find it and you fix it and you drive away happy…imagine if your mechanic turned around and said “Engine light? Hmmm lets just tell it 5 times before we start it to be positive and not have an engine light on this time that should work.”

I’m going to aim this at everyone. If you have a problem in life that’s making you sad fix it, if you can not figure it out or fix it on your own GO GET HELP! It does not make you weak or useless, it makes you smart for asking for the tools from a professional to help solve the problems that are messing with your happiness. Being given the tools to help yourself is life changing in the best way.

So, guys, MAN UP, BE MEN and go get some tools to fix your shit, it doesn’t make You a pussy it makes you a man we live in 2019 guys that old mentality of its weak to ask for help died with our great grandfathers. REAL MEN FIX THEIR SHIT and own up to their own issues. And to all you women swallow your damn pride, it doesn’t make you any less of a strong woman to go learn some tools, it makes you stronger and better at problem solving and in turn a stronger happier person.

Moral of the story is.






Written by:

Ben Russoniello | ©benrussoniello 2019


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